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Say YES! to checking in

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Say YES! to checking in

I pride myself on being there for the people in my life – when things go wrong, I’m at the door with tissues, chocolate and words of wisdom. But when mum was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, I knew it was going to take much more than these three things to support her.


I was going to need grit, optimism, patience, love and probably Google – to help me decipher all the medical mumbo jumbo that was coming our way! I decided I wanted to be the strong one, cheering mum on from the sidelines, ready to help in any way that I can.

But it’s also true that you can’t pour from an empty cup. I quickly realised that for me to be there for mum, I needed to lean on the people in my life too. Whether it’s a thoughtful text, a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, we all get by with a little help from our friends.

It can be difficult to navigate conversations with mum about her health and wellbeing, sometimes I feel like I just don’t know what to say or how to say it, and I know my friends probably feel the same way when talking to me too. While there’s no definitive roadmap to follow, these six strategies inspired by Time To Change have been a good place to start for all of us:

  1. Actively listen to what they’re saying and check your understanding by paraphrasing things and repeating back the actual words they’ve used.
  2. Find a quiet place and try to free yourself of distractions and interruptions and give your undivided attention.
  3. Ask open questions to give them a chance to chat things through and express how they’re feeling with more than a simple “yes” or “no” response. Try to save your questions until the end though, so you don’t interrupt them while they’re talking.
  4. Follow up – don’t just check in once and then leave it. Go back, check again, let them know you’re there.
  5. You don’t have to have all the answers. Do a bit of research and gather a few different resources you can signpost them to.
  6. Words matter, but body language does too. Be open, show them you’re listening and give them a hug or your hand to reassure them that it’s okay to be vulnerable and honest.

 

Checking in on people who are struggling is more powerful and authentic when it’s done regularly, even when they seem like they’re fine. But it’s also important to remember that everyone is different, the things we need from each other can change from day-to-day and we have to look after our own physical and mental wellbeing too.

For mum, sometimes all she needs is something to take her mind off things for a while – a glass of wine and a Tom Cruise movie usually does the trick – last weekend it was Jerry Maguire and a (bottle) of white!

Now if that doesn’t make you want to say YES to supporting others, I don’t know what will!

 

By Lauren Castle for Alive!

 

 

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Jo Hobbs — Communications Manager

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Sarah Crowdy — Campaign and Media Officer Communications, South East Water

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Sobha Varghese — Tata Consultancy Services

“We had the privilege to work with the Alive team. It was our first time to be involved in creating an animation for our patients within paediatrics. The team were approachable, friendly, creative and very accommodating. Your vision for what you want to create, is at all times acknowledged, appreciated and accommodated by the team. They worked effectively and with great passion towards our project and worked not only alongside health professionals but also our patients who really enjoyed the experience of working with the Alive team. It has given our team the confidence and inspiration to do further projects in the future. We highly recommend Alive and their exceptional team.”

DR ELENI ATHANASAKOS, Lead Paediatric Clinical Scientist — NHS Barts Health

“‘The short animation developed in co-production with clinicians and young people is outstanding! Informative, developmentally appropriate, vitally fun and engaging. We are really grateful for the expertise of the Alive with Ideas team for their innovative approach in building children’s health literacy.'”

Kath Evans — Director of Children’s Nursing at Barts Health

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Lianne Springer — Communications and Engagement Lead

“Alive wowed us during the pitch process and they didn’t stop wowing us throughout the whole project. Every person we worked with at Alive were so friendly, knowledgeable and clearly passionate about what they do. They have worked with us to really understand what we do and have created a new brand and website that really stands out from our competitors. Thank you!”

Louise Burnard, Head of Marketing and Communications UK — Be | Shaping the Future

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Dr Anna Batho — Clinical Psychologist – Critical Care, UCLH

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Georgia Beech — Internal Communications Specialist, Ocado Group

“This is brilliant. I wanted to give my heartfelt thanks to all of the team who worked on this. You all understood exactly what we wanted to communicate and why, and then managed to do it in a way that was far better than anything I could have imagined. I’m a bit choked up to be honest!”

Sarah Wright, Head of Communications and Campaigns — NEA

“Each time I work with the team, I am always stunned at the effort and creativity that goes into each detail and am always eager for the end result. The team is extremely accommodating and always provide a fresh approach to our projects that elevates our communications materials!”

Alana Khaytin, Communications Specialist — Braskem America

“What I really appreciate about Alive is that they work with us as partners, and care as much about getting it right for our patients as we do.”

Sara Langston, Patient Engagement & Marketing Manager — italk

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Steph Tranter, Hybrid Exec Coach & Psychologist — StephTranter.com

“Alive helped us create a video of our response to the floods of winter 2019. Our Chief Officer received messages from all round the country praising us for it and was really pleased with both the video and the response to it.”

Alexander Mills, Communications Manager — South Yorkshire Fire & Rescue

“Alive were professional, friendly and great to work with. Most importantly they were creative, helping us to bring an extremely important safety campaign to life.”

Jack Grasby — South Yorkshire Fire & Rescue

“The (Alive) team were able to creatively pull together and document (in just over 2minutes) everything our service has achieved over the last few months, from thousands of prescriptions deliveries to hundreds of phone calls made to the vulnerable. The final product was so powerful and reflective of what our service has and continues to achieve. It couldn’t have been better received within the service – thanks Alive for once again helping us to communicate our vision!’”

Emma Wright — South Yorkshire & Rescue

“We worked with the team at Alive to create our staff recognition video.
At a time like this, its never been more important to share the amazing work that our staff have done and continue to do on a daily basis under very difficult circumstances. We wanted to shout about this and recognise that when the time came, South Yorkshire Fire & Rescue stepped up to the plate. We didn’t want an ordinary thank you post on social media or a basic email sent out internally, we wanted something special. Enter Alive. ”

Emma Wright — South Yorkshire Fire & Rescue

“This looks amazing - brought a smile to my face scrolling through it :-)”

Jack Ford, Head of Marketing — streamGO

“Our company is fun, we have great brands, but most importantly we’re all about our people – and I wanted an agency who would understand that and help us bring it to life through our website and other comms. Straight away I felt that Alive ‘got’ us and provided the creative inspiration exactly where we needed it, as well as the technical expertise to deliver a well-functioning website.”

Keren McCarron, Head of Corporate Affairs & Communications — KP Snacks

“Boom!
Thank you so much. Incredible work done at incredible speed by incredible people.
Outstanding work as ever and what a turnaround. As for the concepts – wow. These are that good it would be an insult to describe them as just good. It’s a joke, quite frankly. This is exactly the Alive effect I was after. Right now I feel like I am living in an Alive With Ideas wonderland. Thank you!”

Jack Grasby, Campaigns Manager — SYFR

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Amy Lilja, IC Manager — Hennepin Healthcare

“Alive were there to help when we were working every hour to respond to the coronavirus outbreak. They gave us the creativity, ideas and support we needed to deliver campaigns which empowered our residents in the most difficult time most of us have ever seen, personally and professionally. The team understood what we needed, worked closely with us and delivered fast without any compromise on quality. Working with Alive has been a joy in the darkest of times and I have no doubt will have helped to save lives. Thanks team x”

Julie Odams, Assistant Director of Communications & Customers — Derbyshire County Council

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Gavin Buckle — B&Q
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